What is Therapy?
This might sound a bit corny, but I’m going to say it anyways – it takes a lot of courage to look for a therapist. Especially because you’re probably someone who has felt the need to be self-sufficient for most of your life. So thank you for taking this huge step to building the life that you know you can live. Though that might still feel so far away, I’m excited for you!
I know the process to find a therapist can be a bit overwhelming. There are so many therapists, how can you possibly know who is the right one for you?
Research shows that the most important thing for effective and successful therapy is to find someone who’s a good fit. This means that you feel understood.
While therapy can bring up uncomfortable emotions, the therapist can help you feel safe to explore these emotions. And as therapy progresses, the therapist can provide good insight and new ways of thinking about things, and help you make connections to things that you may not have thought about.
And this is exactly what we’ll be looking for, when we do our consultation – “are we a good fit?” I do believe that every person deserves to be working with a therapist who is the right one for them. That is why I offer a 30-minute consultation, to make sure we both have time to get a good feel for each other.
What Therapy Is
Therapy is about getting 100% clear with yourself. We’re trying to get to know not just the surface you, but the deeper aspects that makes you the person you are today. This includes both the beautiful parts of you that makes you the amazing person you are, and the parts that you bury and reject (which, by the way, is also beautiful and important!).
This is a radical kind of honesty here. The kind of honesty that may scare you. And in this journey of self-discovery, we will be finding answers to questions that you didn’t even know you had.
And through it all, you’ll learn to build trust…in yourself. And instead of trying to hide your true self, you will become well-versed in truly showing up for yourself and for others.
What Therapy Isn't
Therapy is not about waiting to be ready to take this journey. It isn’t about playing it small, or playing it safe. You’re trying to change the rest of your life. Playing it safe just won’t get you there. And you’re never truly ready for life changing events.
We don’t want you to play it small and play it safe. We are here to help you become the biggest, baddest version of who you want to be. And while therapy may initiate a big change in your life, you will undoubtedly have more large-scale changes in the future. And your therapy, right here, right now, will help prepare you to know how to pursue and embrace changes that you want to create for yourself and in your life.
Therapy is not easy. It is an investment. It requires your time, energy, and emotional investment. But if we approach this in the right way, it will be well worth it all. This is the rest of your life we’re talking about.
Pre-Therapy Pains → Post-Therapy Changes
You feel that life isn’t going your way. But in a deeper sense, you don’t really know what you want with life. You just know that you’re unhappy. And you feel helpless to life’s circumstances, often feeling defeated.
You have an inner critic that is always criticizing you. And it makes you feel anxious all the time, like you did something wrong. You wish you can just relax.
You’re kind and generous, and want to make everyone happy. But some people take advantage of you, and some even bully or mistreat you. That leaves you feeling angry, resentful, and powerless.
At times, you wonder why you feel lonely, and find ways to distract yourself from it. You might have lots of people around you, but you don’t feel very connected to them, nor feel that they truly understand you.
You’re constantly working, and always on the verge of burn out. When you finally allow yourself to take a break, you often end up feeling uncomfortable. So you pour yourself into your work again.
Every day, you’re discovering more about yourself, and what you want in your life. You dare to dream, because you feel confident in your ability to handle the challenges that life throws at you, and keep moving towards new possibilities.
You understand your inner critic better, and that it has actually grown from wanting to help you. You now know how to be kinder to yourself. Over time, your inner critic comes up less often, and is less intense.
You’re still kind and generous. But you’ve also learned to be kind and generous to yourself. You feel different about yourself; as a result, you won’t accept other people mistreating you or bullying you.
You become better acquainted with your feelings of loneliness, and know that it is ok to feel this. As a result, you understand yourself better, and are better able to be genuine with the people around you. This makes you feel more connected and fulfilled in your relationships.
You know that you use your work as a distraction from your emotions. You now have ways to understand and process these emotions in a healthy way. Instead of using work to help you cope, you now have the clarity to reflect and prioritize your energy for things that help you live the life that you want.
As we mentioned before, our consultation will be figuring out whether we’re a good fit. But don’t worry, we’re not going to be giving each other a test. We’re going to simply have a conversation, and get to know each other better.
While there’s no “right way” to have a consultation, here are a few things that you can think about that might be helpful to think about:
Why now? What is the reason that you have decided to look for a therapist at this current moment in your life?
What do I hope my life would look like in the future?
What are certain things I want in a therapist? What questions do I want to ask, about this therapist, and about therapy?
And seriously, feel free to make the most out of this consultation time. I’ve even had someone ask me to define “model minority,” to make sure we’re on the same page about it!
In the consultation, I will also spend some time discussing the logistics and structure of our therapy together, which you can read more about in the next section…
How Therapy Would Look
I want our work to create lasting change in your life. Which is why I see clients on a weekly basis, as research shows that consistent, frequent sessions is better at creating sustained and lasting changes in your life.
And if you’re on a particular budget for therapy, I always advise that having weekly sessions is more effective than spacing out the sessions over a longer period of time.
So this is how the schedule of our therapy would look:
During the first three weeks of each month, we will have weekly sessions. For consistency, we will meet each other weekly at the same day and time (e.g. 3:30pm on Mondays).
For the remainder of the month, we will take a break from sessions. This can give you some time to reflect on how the sessions are going, and implement the things that we have discussed. During this break, I will also reflect on our work together, and do any necessary research that would help our process.
So if you're ready, let's get started! Schedule a consultation, and let's chat!